Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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