i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
