i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
