dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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