got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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