im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I wish they made helmets for livers.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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