were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
