I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
