it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
