the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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