I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We need a shit load of segways right now
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
