Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
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I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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