I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
we're so committed to being not committed
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
