i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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