Pappa wants mamma naked
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
This is the high leading the old right now
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
