college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
