I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
