i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm both gender and math confused
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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