I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
