my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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