Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
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Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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