i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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