I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
