hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
even my farts smell like vagina
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
