dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
