In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Sorry about my life...
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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