i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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