is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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