Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
time to smoke my breakfast
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
