Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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