Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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