You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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