You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
