Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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