afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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