I'm jealous of your bromance
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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