They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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