my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
