he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
