I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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