we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
