There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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