He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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