I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
