Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
thus making me awesome and them whores
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
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