He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
