Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
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