does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
