I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
