I think I am morally bankrupt
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
