please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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