How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize