Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
