NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
