you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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