Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
