Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
