I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
jump out the window naked night went bad
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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