I CAN MOONWALK!
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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